I apologize in advance if this post doesn’t flow well. I wrote it while watching, Bachelor Pad. I know, I shouldn’t multitask, but time is short these days!
So, we are not 100% a go with our nanny. We love her already in spite of my jealousy. The only problem… she doesn’t quite know how to discipline Charlie. In fact, she consistently spoils him. I am not strict by any stretch of the imagination, but I do have rules that I like to abide by.
For example, we have a schedule with Charlie. He wakes up around 6:30/7am and has breakfast. He has a snack at 9am, lunch at 11am and then goes down for a nap at 11:30. He likes this schedule. He knows what to expect and so do I. When he goes down for a nap, we also have a routine. We read a few books, sing a song, give him a kiss and put him in his crib sleepy but awake. Sometimes he goes right down. Sometimes he cries.
Unfortunately, the nanny is not comfortable putting him down and letting him cry. She has never done that with any of her other families. If he cries it “hurts her heart” and she goes back in and picks him up. She says she is willing to learn, but in just 3 days she has really messed with his schedule. He also tries to manipulate me in the same way by crying and saying no to bed and nap time now.
On her 3rd day she did a lot better, but she was almost in tears leaving him in the crib. I had her watch him on the monitor to see that he was fine. He cried for 45 seconds before going down for his nap. I totally understand where she is coming from. It used to torture me to hear him cry. That is until I realized that he now knows how to soothe himself to sleep and he only cries because he doesn’t want to stop hanging out. Once he realizes that we aren’t coming in, he lays down, grabs his lovie and goes to sleep.
I think over time she will catch on to our method, but I’m concerned that the mean time may mess up his schedule. Already today, he didn’t nap at all. Are you kidding me? No nap! Charlie, you are only 17 months (in 2 days). You HAVE to nap.
The nanny also constantly wants to hold Charlie. I get it, I want to hold him too, but I think it is super important for him to have his independence too. He needs to walk around. He needs to fall down. He needs to explore. By the end of the first 3 days, Charlie’s asking to be held more than ever. He’s getting used to being treated like a little king and I am having a hard time undoing the damage.
I guess the question becomes, what is considered a training period and what is considered non-negotiable? Can the nanny learn how to be more disciplined or are these two weeks going to be a waste of time? We love everything else about her so we are going to give her that time. I just hope she doesn’t spoil Charlie too much in the meanwhile. Arghh! Finding the perfect nanny is so hard! If you happen to know of a great nanny that is available in the San Fernando Valley, please feel free to pass on the info. I don’t want to go with someone else, but I know it is better to have interviews lined up than wait until the last minute.
BTW – if you watch Bachelor Pad, do you buy Jake’s nice guy routine or is he putting on an act?